Parents Who Have Different Parenting Style
By Sandy Rajsic

One of the biggest issues that parents face is how to raise their children. This issue is complicated when the parents, themselves, have different ideas of how to parent. Parents who have very different personalities quite often have a lot of difficulty agreeing on parenting methods. Here are a few quick tips that parents should remember when the have problems agreeing on how to parent their children.

Never make your spouse look bad in front of your children. By saying to your children that you don't understand your spouse or that the spouse is wrong, you are telling your children that their other parent is a "bad guy". This puts your children in a bad position. It makes them feel like they have to pick sides. It isn't your children's position to be your "best friend" or "counselor". If you are upset with your spouse, talk to your spouse. Don't put your children in the middle.

Another key to effective parenting when you disagree is to agree on consistency and follow-through. This is more important than perfect parenting. What I mean by this is to agree on how children should be disciplined. Once the discipline has been set, both stick to it. Don't go behind your spouse's back and tell your child how wrong the spouse was with his/her decision about the discipline. This will confuse your child. Your child will then lose respect for both parents. The child starts to reason that if the parents are unable to agree and work together, then they do not support each other. If they do not support each other, they can't support the child.

As parents with different parenting styles, you should take a proactive approach to the consistency and follow-through. For problems that come up on a reoccurring basis, set the discipline in advance. For instance, if your child doesn't clean his/her room, already have discipline in place that both parents agree on. If the child's room doesn't get clean, then the child doesn't get computer or television time that evening. This is just an example. You know what works best with your child.

If you and your spouse are having difficulties with your differences and can't seem to make each other look good to your children, you might want to consider going to counseling. When parents are constantly fighting and making each other look bad, it is always the children who suffer. Sometimes the children will blame themselves for these problems. Even worse is when the parents blame the children for the problems. This will cause the children to have poor self esteem and a lack of confidence.

It is important to agree to be different. The world is full of different people. It is alright for your children to see that you are different. But it is also important for them to see that you agree that you are different and cherish those differences instead of hate them. Children who have the opportunity to see that it is alright to be different will not only feel more confident to be themselves, but they will also accept other people more easily, especially if they are different. You can provide your child with a very healthy environment that will allow the child to grow and explore more freely.

This article was written by Sandy. I am a parent who is concerned with giving my children the best start in life. Since my first child didn't come with a manual, I have found other parents' advice invaluable. I would like to pass on what I have learned and hope that other parents would like to do the same. I have recently been reminded of how important my family is and that my family should always come first. Please visit my blog at http://familycomesfirst.wordpress.com/. Hope to see you there.

Sandy

I am a parent who is concerned with giving my children the best start in life. Since my first child didn't come with a manual, I have found other parents' advice invaluable. I would like to pass on what I have learned and hope that other parents would like to do the same. I have recently been reminded of how important my family is and that my family should always come first. Please visit my blog at familycomesfirst.wordpress.com Hope to see you there.

Sandy

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